I have to admit, I visit my local drive-thru of the iconic golden arches from time to time. The magnet is just too winsome. Honestly, who can deny the convenience? Who can resist the speed? Who can just say no to the low cost of a “quickie” dollar-menu double cheeseburger? (It’s a lot like a quickie if you think about it—instant and usually one-way.) Gosh and the fat. Can’t you just taste it? Who has the power to reject the siren’s song of that scrumptious artery-clogging American delicacy? Yum, yum, yummy.      

The AP reports: “The U.S. sales increase was driven by more customers coming in for breakfast and late-night meals.” Maybe they’re like bookends for some Americans: breakfast and late night meals; but here I think we’re really talking about two different consumer crowds. One hurried, the other intoxicated. One fast food company is even marketing the “fourth meal” (code: the late night “I must be drunk” meal). And breakfast at Micky-dees makes perfect sense. I’m late. I’m in a hurry. It beats cooking. It beats shopping. It beats fruit. Hook me up with a “meal” – One sausage egg and cheese biscuit, please, complete with the deep-fried hash brown and, because I’m so health-conscious, a small orange juice. (My darkest secret is that in my most unguarded moments, I will opt for the small Coke over the OJ or coffee because I think stocks rising in McDonalds must have something to do with the syrup-rich Cokes. Don’t think I don’t notice!)   

The AP continues: “Strong results in France and Germany helped same-store sales rise 8.4 percent over a year earlier.” This is great. People who generally hate America love our sorry-but-irresistible food. I think deep down inside, they really do love us after all. Maybe they’re just jealous. Or maybe it just has to do with who the president is at the time.

But let’s not cease to share the love there. Let’s go totally global! The story continues: “In the company’s Asia/Pacific, Middle East and Africa region, same-store sales increased 4.3 percent, boosted by growth in Japan and Australia — as well as a good showing in China.” If there are any two things our Asian brothers and sisters are good at, it has to be math and culinary arts. McDonalds flourishing in Japan? This is where culinary takes a backseat to math. Clinton said it best: “It’s the economy, stupid.” In my more sane moments, I choose Sushi. But this is the same guy who in his more cheap and hurried moments chooses the dollar menu. 

I’m not surprised at the news of McDonald’s on the rise. It’s short-term ease, it’s cheap, it’s fat, and after all, the kids love it (PLEASE! It’s for the children…). 

But is it wise? In my deeper moments, I must confess, I think Jared may be right. We may do well to consider the facts behind our choices, even if some Subway choices aren’t any better. Eating better is hard work. It’s inconvenient, it’s more expensive, it’s a hassle, and the kids don’t always like it. But if stock went up in healthier foods I’d find that better news and a happier trend in a culture where heart disease is public enemy number one.