I’m going to let the competition… sing? for themselves:

I’m seriously not comfortable with the idea that American popular culture is how the world sees us. Yet it’s easy to see why this is the case when most of the media that the rest of the world produces is little better than what you see above - who wouldn’t want to watch “Real World” instead of this Kazakh garbage?

So American culture now counts as its main ambassadors Justin Timberlake, Britney Spears and Angelina Jolie. This is not an optimal situation but fear not, I have a solution.

My solution doesn’t fix American popular culture, but rather brings the rest of the planet up/down to our “level”. The idea here is that we hold “Kazakhstani Idol” and “Burmese Idol” contests and secretly fund, through secret CIA accounts, the costs foreign performers incur while creating indigenous media. This way we’ll have kDzjay-Zee of Nepal doing ridiculous things with his/her life and making a fool of himself and reflecting poorly on his/her own people. Given enough wealth for nothing, foreign pop icons are bound to self destruct in spectacular fashion and the all those foreigners will be so busy watching “Peoples Revolutionary Entertainment Tonight” that they won’t have time to care that Britney and Kfed are split or whatever.

America wins when nobody pays attention to our celebrities.